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Thomas Kuriakose, MD Discusses the Coaching Mindset: How Shifting from Telling to Asking Can Help Transform Learning Outcomes

October 10, 2025
in Lifestyle
Thomas Kuriakose, MD Discusses the Coaching Mindset: How Shifting from Telling to Asking Can Help Transform Learning Outcomes
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Adopting a coaching mindset can transform how we engage with others, both in learning environments and professional settings. Rather than relying on authority or quick solutions, this approach emphasizes curiosity, listening, and empowerment. It encourages individuals to think critically, explore possibilities, and take ownership of their decisions. When leaders, educators, or mentors shift from telling to asking, they may foster deeper understanding, boost motivation, and build stronger relationships. As noted by Thomas Kuriakose, MD, the change may seem subtle at first, but its impact can ripple across teams, classrooms, and organizations.

A coaching mindset focuses on guiding others to discover their own solutions rather than providing answers. Unlike traditional teaching or management styles that may rely on giving instructions, this approach encourages thoughtful questions that prompt reflection and problem-solving. It shifts the focus from authority to partnership.

In a classroom, this might look like a teacher prompting a student to think through their reasoning instead of correcting them immediately. In the workplace, a manager might ask a team member, “What options have you considered?” instead of outlining next steps. This change may support growth by emphasizing autonomy and critical thinking.

Asking questions sparks curiosity and invites learners to participate actively in their own development. When people are encouraged to think through challenges, they may be more likely to connect ideas and retain information. The process becomes less about memorizing and more about making meaning.

In coaching conversations, a well-timed question like “What do you think is missing?” may open up new perspectives. This can also build confidence, as learners begin to trust their own reasoning rather than relying solely on external input. Over time, they may become more independent and engaged. These conversations often lead to insights that wouldn’t surface through direct instruction.

Thomas Kuriakose, MD suggests that when people are invited to think through solutions, they may remember those lessons longer. The effort of working through a problem can make the learning stick. Along with better retention, learners also tend to feel more motivated because they have a sense of ownership over their progress.

Trust grows when asking replaces telling. Coaches and leaders who listen more and speak less can build stronger, more respectful relationships. In one-on-one settings, this shift often transforms the tone of conversations, moving from directive to collaborative.

Teams that adopt this mindset may report more creative problem-solving and better decision-making. The cumulative effect is a learning environment where people feel capable, heard, and ready to contribute. These small shifts in behavior can lead to meaningful improvements in organizational culture.

Shifting from telling to asking can often feel uncomfortable at first. Many people are used to being the expert in the room, and the habit of giving answers is hard to break. There’s also the pressure of time – asking questions may seem slower when deadlines are looming.

Some hesitate because they fear losing control of the conversation or not sounding knowledgeable enough. In fast-paced environments, asking instead of telling can feel like a risk. Yet this reluctance can prevent real growth. When leaders default to giving directions, they may unintentionally limit learning and stifle potential.

One effective method is simply to pause before responding. Any classroom teacher will tell you how a silence that might seem uncomfortable in the moment is often a potent catalyst for their students’ independent thinking and reasoning. A moment of silence gives others the space to reflect and speak. It signals that their thoughts are valued. In coaching, even a short question like “What’s your take on this?” can shift the dynamic entirely.

Open-ended questions can create room for exploration. Rather than steering someone toward a specific answer, they allow multiple paths forward. This can be especially powerful in mentoring relationships, where the goal is to build long-term capability rather than short-term compliance. With practice, these kinds of prompts may become second nature, even during high-pressure conversations.

In a team meeting, a manager might replace a directive with a question like, “How do you think we should approach this?” That single shift can invite more voices into the conversation and lead to better collaboration. Gradually, these small adjustments may create a culture where thinking and contribution are expected, not optional.

Thomas Kuriakose, MD explains that educators using this mindset often see students become more invested in their own learning. When learners are trusted to explore and reason, they tend to rise to the occasion. The change isn’t always immediate, but with consistency, it can become a habit that reshapes the way people engage with challenges.

 

Disclaimer: The views and insights presented in this article are those of the author, Thomas Kuriakose, MD, and are intended to provide general information. They are not a substitute for professional advice or guidance tailored to individual circumstances. Readers should consider their own specific situations and seek personalized counsel where necessary.

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